Takeover Unfiltered

Hello, hello.

Another badass episode of talent takeover.

Unfiltered.

We're coming in hot with Jess Heller, who is

an exec and leadership coach, and she is incredible.

And the subject will be how to manage

your mindset in an ever changing market. I love this.

Hey, Jess. Hey, Teller. How are we doing? Good.

How are you?

What the fuck did you just call me? Teller?

Well, Heller.

Jess Heller, taylor.

How are you doing?

Your persona that's my great.

Teller is doing great.

Thank you for asking.

I'm always doing good on our podcast recording days.

The energy is always good. Yes. It is fierce.

I'm excited about this one because Mindset, it's like,

if you guys haven't already subscribed to hey, my

mindset needs to be strong to be successful.

You are really missing out.

So let's just dig. Let's get in.

Love it. All right.

So why this topic?

We know why it's important to us, but

why was this topic important to you, Jeff?

Yeah, so it is the most

important thing to drive success.

So I think for me, in coaching, the thing that I'm

really passionate about, a lot of people come to me and

they say, these are the goals that I want.

This is what I want to

achieve, want to achieve this promotion.

And it's always about doing the inner work first,

figuring out, okay, what are the limiting beliefs?

What are the stories that you're telling yourself?

What's the mindset shift that you need to

make in order to achieve those goals?

So focusing on that first before

you can really do anything else.

How do you manage tactical versus inner?

Because I know when I'm coaching, they're like, just tell

me how to set up this or set up this

process, or how do I run this meeting?

And it's like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah, for sure.

So the first thing, asking a lot of questions.

So I was shocked to find out early

on that coaching is not about giving advice.

I thought I was coaching people, and

that's actually not what it's about.

So it's a lot about asking a lot of questions.

Active, listening, figuring out, okay, what is

actually important about this for you?

Because a lot of times, people are setting goals

based on what they think they should be doing,

based on what has been told to them, and

then they get to this point in their career,

for example, and they realize, I'm not happy here.

I got all the titles that I wanted.

I have all the power that I thought

I wanted, and I'm not feeling fulfilled.

I'm actually pretty miserable.

And so really going back to kind of the

basics about what is important for you about achieving

these goals, what are you telling yourself?

Because when you do that type of work,

then you're actually setting up goals that they

really want versus they think they should want.

But how do you manage that?

So if someone says, hey, I want just to make more money,

and I want to be able to negotiate really well, how do

you then say, like, okay, I hear you, but now we're going

to take a step back, because I know sometimes people are like,

wait, what did I get out of that call?

That was very confusing.

How do you set up those expectations? Yeah.

So talking about, okay, what does

success look like for you?

What does it mean for you? Right.

What would be different if you got all of

these things at the end of the day?

And so really trying to ask a lot of

questions to help them navigate the picture of success,

because when you really get deeper and deeper and

deeper into those questions, they start to have a

bigger picture of what they want versus setting goals

from a place where they're honestly sometimes playing small.

So you want to get them

into a really empowered headspace.

So whatever goal they're trying to achieve is bigger

than the one they would have set when they

came in with a lot of these limiting beliefs.

So trying to get them into like,

okay, what's the seven year plan, right?

What's the ten year plan?

And then now that you have this picture of success,

if fear was no obstacle and if money was no

obstacle, for example, what would this look like?

And then help them to back into it, and then

help them to get some of those incremental steps so

that you break down something that feels really overwhelming into

action, steps that they can make or take. Love that.

You know what I think is really interesting?

And it just hit me as you were

talking, Jess, that until I started working here

and it's not saying it didn't happen.

It was just not really in my face.

But I didn't really know how

frequently executives or leaders used coaches.

I think that I always had this belief that

it's very early on in your career when you

might have a coach or a mentor.

And I've had mentors my entire

career, but specifically the coaching piece.

But as I got here and learned that Brianna talks

to an executive coach, she had me talking to her

executive coach and how powerful it was and the types

of things that you do actually discuss.

I'm really just curious to know what's the

typical profile of the people that you coach?

And also, do you have any recommendations for

people wanting to get started in coaching?

Yeah, so I mostly work with leaders at all levels.

A lot of my clients are women.

I obviously work with men as well.

But they're anyone who can be new in role.

Maybe they're a new leader and they're

feeling like, I don't really know how

to build this relationship with my team.

Maybe they're going from peer to manager.

And that role and those relationships need to look and

feel very different or maybe it's someone who just got

a new job or they are looking for a career

change and it's really just finding a thought partner.

I mean, that's the biggest thing about coaching.

And that's why I said this is not about giving advice.

There's a mentor, there's a sponsor out there.

But a coach is really a thought partner for you.

It's someone who's in your corner, who can

see things sometimes that you can't see in

yourself, who can really pull that out of

you and make you think bigger for yourself.

And so it's anyone just wanting to grow and

learn and create some awareness around their blind spots.

We all have blind spots, right?

And so we all deal with feelings of doubt

whether or not it's starting a new company or

starting this new journey or career path.

And so it's really just having someone in your corner

to help you illuminate some of the things that you

might not be able to see on your own.

Love thought partner.

I never thought of it that way.

I've literally never heard that.

But I have heard just recently speaking of my coach

said something about she had this great quote and now

I can't think of it but plain small.

And it was from Mel Robbins.

I guess she was doing this interview.

And so is that where you had heard that from?

I mean, I've heard that Tara Moore

has a great book as well.

And so do you want to set your

goals from a place where you're feeling empowered

or from a place where you're feeling fearful?

And usually we make decisions out

of love or out of fear.

And so your coach can help you make decisions

from a place where you're thinking bigger for yourself

so that your trajectory looks a little bit different.

What if that overwhelms the person?

I mean, naturally, I think it's really

easy to hear hit my mic.

It's really easy to hear someone and be

like, wow, I can see these things really

clearly because you're not looking with emotion.

So now you're saying this is actually if you

play bigger, this is what you're capable of.

What if the person then just not there?

They're like, I can't believe it, I can't get there.

That seems like that's a lot of work.

So how as a coach can you really

manage and have them fight and think bigger?

Well, number one, when people come to a

coach, they need to be willing to think

about things from a different perspective.

So that's always people ask me,

who do you love working with?

It's anyone who's willing to invest in themselves,

see things from a different perspective, be challenged.

And so that's the type of person who I'm sitting

in the room with is someone who wants to invest

and who wants to think bigger for themselves.

And so that's why it's just breaking

it down into more manageable steps.

I love coaching because and I

love therapy and I've done it.

It's just I used to get out of the sessions

and it's like, great, I have all these insights.

Now what do I do?

And the difference with coaching is you have all

these insights and at the end of the session

you have some sort of action items or homework

or questions to think about and reflect on.

And so if you have a big overwhelming

goal, your coach is helping you break that

down into some more manageable steps.

And once you start seeing the

progress that you're making, that's motivating.

And so that momentum will get you to the next phase.

To the next phase, to the next phase.

So it's going to reduce the overwhelm. Love it.

How do you recommend that people go

about finding a coach that's going to

be that good thought partner for them?

Yeah, so recommendations first and foremost.

So I always ask people who you work with, ask people

who are in your network, hey, do you have a coach?

Here's what I'm looking for.

Here's what I think might work with me.

I do strategy calls or discovery calls

with people, and it's all about just

making sure that there's chemistry there.

At the end of the day, you really need

a coach who you feel is going to call

you forth and who's going to believe in you.

And for that, you need to have trust.

You need to have the feeling like

you can be vulnerable with someone.

And so you'll get a lot of

that out of that initial call.

So I say talk to a few coaches,

trust your gut and go from there.

Okay, that's really good advice.

And I'm about to change it

because I'm just really curious.

Have you ever had to break

up with anybody that you've coached?

I am really lucky.

So all of my clients have come through

referrals, and so I am really fortunate to

have some really amazing and inspiring clients.

Have I had to have direct and tough conversations with

people and say, listen, here's what we need to do

to get you to where you want to go.

If you're not doing the work, if you're not

showing up, then you do have to redesign your

alliance and how you partner with someone.

And at the end of the day,

I can't do the work for someone.

I can't make someone change.

I can be here, I can support them.

And so if a coach is in a situation where the

client is not doing the work, you may need to say

that, listen, I might not be the best person for you,

or you might not be ready for I sorry. Go ahead, Taylor.

No, I was going to make a comment about that. Like.

Cut the shit, Jess.

Tell us the tea.

I'm just kidding.

I've been really lucky.

But I do know coaches who I work with and have

worked with who yeah, you have to have tough conversations.

But what I will say is if you vet your clients

early on, then you hopefully will not be in that situation.

And so that upfront designing how you work together.

Let people tell you that they're not

ready for coaching before you even start.

And that's fine. Yeah.

So is this kind of like a candidate intake?

Oh, yeah.

So do you have templates that you go through?

I mean, naturally, not like you're just like a

waiter and waitress, like, going off of this thing.

But did you typically start like, these are

the questions, these are the answers I absolutely

have to know before I take them on.

So we do that intro call and yeah, I have

questions for them before we start any coaching engagement.

I have 22 questions that I send to them.

So it's a questionnaire very deep, very thought provoking,

hard hitting questions that people have probably never asked

themselves nor have never, ever been asked.

And so if you're going through this and I

ask people actually to do it three times, so

the same questionnaire three times, because every time you

answer the questions, you're going to go a level

deeper and a level deeper.

And if you do that and you are

absolutely miserable, or that is not something that

feels inspiring to you, let me know.

And I let them know that

because this is what coaching is.

So you have to show up in a really courageous way.

You have to show up in a really vulnerable

way, or honestly, you're wasting money and time.

And do you tell it just like that?

I haven't really had to because people are really game.

By the time they're ready, they're ready.

By the time they say yes, they're ready to do the work.

Fun.

That's a fun shit.

Recently.

And this is so funny because I don't know why.

This is like, wow, big moments.

But I had never heard it put like this.

But just having courage doesn't

mean you don't have fear.

It means you have the courage to keep moving forward.

And I honestly just heard that last week,

and I was, like, blown away by it.

I was like, My God, I've never thought of

it like this the first time I'm hearing this.

Well, the biggest thing I have so many clients come to me

and they say, I just want to build confidence, or that's part

of their goal is I want to be more confident.

I want to be more confident as

my role, as I have more responsibilities.

Now I'm in executive meetings, and

I'm talking to sea levels.

I've never done this before.

It's super intimidating.

What I always tell them is the

only thing that builds confidence is experience.

So you actually don't need confidence.

You just need courage.

Go and practice and do it.

I mean, this is my first podcast.

Anytime I do something for the first time, I know.

Thank you both.

Anytime I do something for the

first time, I always have nerves.

You start to make up stories in your

mind, how is this going to go?

Because you just don't have experience.

And so it's just do the thing.

When I used to start working with clients, I

was nervous when I was doing my kickoff calls.

I was nervous when I was doing my discovery calls.

And now I am super excited.

I don't even think twice about it.

I get super excited when I see

their questionnaireintake.com and I can't wait to

get on my first call with them.

And so it's just about doing it, getting the experience,

getting that behind you and then being ready for the

next thing that is going to bring nerves or you

have to do something for the first time. Absolutely.

That's a fun shit. It is, yeah.

Stuff that makes you grow. That's where you grow.

I was so nervous too.

Brianna can attest this, the first podcast we ever

did, I was like sweating my spray tan off.

I was so nervous because we actually

did that the first one video too.

And then we did it because we were

in person and then we didn't do video.

We only did audio for a little while there.

But yeah, I was so nervous.

And then now it's like you see

how we are, we shoot the shit.

It's just yeah, and you have fun and you learn from it.

Right now you probably don't

get your spray tan anymore.

I still sweat, but I don't get the spray tan on.

But you don't get the spray tan. Yeah.

So I do have another question for you.

I'm curious to know how many of the people

that you coach, they individually have sought you out

and pay for coaching themselves and how many people

does the company pay for them to come?

Yeah, so I work with both.

So I do one on one private clients.

They come to me sometimes people want to come to me

because they're figuring out what they want to do next.

And so good on them.

They are not going to ask their company

to sponsor this if they're trying to leave.

Especially with a background in recruiting.

I think they're attracted to that experience and others

I work with and they are company sponsored.

So maybe their manager says, hey, we

have this person who's new enrolled.

Maybe they're new to the company

or they were recently promoted.

They are great and we would love them to be excellent.

And so can you come and support them with that?

There's obviously a lot more kind of 360 view.

We'll do stakeholder interviews so that that employee

has more of a sense of how they're

landing and leading within the organization.

We're doing manager alignment meetings to make sure that what

we're working on in the coaching sessions are in line

with what the goals are with their manager.

Or the greater.org.

So I do both.

I also do teamwork with teams and

groups, so whether or not that's workshops

and off sites and development programs.

So I really try to customize how I work

with clients just based on what they need and

what they want the outcomes to look like.

Love that again, I had no idea team existed.

Oh, yeah, go into the team stuff. That's big. No.

Yeah, the team shit is great because that's where it's so

I think about oh, my God, what is that guy?

Axel, who does sorry, I'm totally losing it.

It is an investment.

It's an investment show.

It's like on Showtime.

His name's Axel.

Oh, Billions. Billions. Thank you.

How did I forget the name of it? I didn't know.

Were we talking about a podcast or

are we talking I didn't either.

And I watched Billions and I was like, what?

Okay, I was dying.

But when I started watching that show and

I don't even know she's obviously a coach,

but she's a coach for the team.

High performance coach.

I was like, duh.

That's the stuff.

Every company should have that. That's amazing.

I love that you're getting into that because then

you see it from an organization, and just because

you also came from recruiting, you also get the

business initiatives behind it, and you're like, okay, here's

what we're trying to accomplish.

Here's how we're going to move the needle,

and here's how I'm going to help.

That must feel amazing.

It's amazing because first off, you can start

to identify themes within an organization as well.

So if you're coaching several people within an

organization and everyone is coming to you and

saying, hey, we're resource strapped, or we don't

have a clear vision, right?

Obviously, everything we talk about in

our coaching sessions is highly confidential.

But if you do start to hear

themes, you can escalate those to help

support the teams and ultimately the organizations.

So it's really amazing to be able to support organizations

and their leaders at the end of the day.

And I think the biggest misconception, too, is that

coaching is for people who are not performing well.

That is a huge misconception.

It's actually for the high achievers, who, if

you think about Olympic athletes, there's not one

athlete who's not going to have a coach.

So help them go from good to great.

Help them go from great to excellent.

Help them amplify their skills.

Help them understand where they might be falling flat

and what they need to do to close the

gap so that not only teams are successful, but

the whole goal is that these organizations are successful.

And as Brianna said, being in recruiting, we spend

so much time, or I spent so much time

finding the right talent for the team.

And then you spend six, nine

months sometimes with these senior people.

They come on board, they get a two page onboarding

doc saying, here's the benefit here's who you should have

your one on ones with and go be successful.

And then they wonder why attrition rates

are not great, morale is low.

They wonder why those people are not set up

for success or they can't attract the right talent.

Like get a coach in there to help support them

to be successful for their first six months so that

you don't waste all these resources, the amount of money.

You can save an organization.

I mean, just in the right hiring processes

and stuff like that, but for a coach

I know, save an organization is like massive.

It's like massive.

It's almost like, wait, why am I charging so little?

I know, but in theory it is nuts. Yeah.

It's an investment.

And when people don't understand the value of coaching and

the ROI that you can get on great leadership, they

see it as an expense, but it is an investment

in their organization and in their leaders.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay.

Unfortunately, guys, we're running up on time.

So Jess, if, you know, I'm

the time police, I'm like, Woof. I know.

Yeah.

So I would say one thing that I would

love people to walk away with is just understanding

what you can control and what you can't control. Right.

Especially in this environment, in this climate.

There's a lot of people who have survived layoffs, there are

a lot of people who have survived reorgs, there are a

lot of people who are job searching right now.

So it's tougher circumstances than

we've seen from years ago.

And so you can control your mindset, you

can control your perspective, and making sure that

you're making decisions from a place where you

are making conscious choices is really important.

I got the chills.

I'm getting chilly over here. Thank you, Jess.

Of course.

Oh my gosh, this is great.

So naturally, people are going to be

like, Jess, please be my coach.

So where can they find you?

Yes, so you can find me

on my website, it's Jesseller.com.

You can book a strategy session with me, complimentary,

so I can understand your needs, what you're looking

for, and if nothing else, you will leave with

some tools and resources or find me on LinkedIn.

Love it.

And of course we'll link her in the description, y'all,

but love, again, the reviews, we got to ask.

We need some more. We need some more. Love.

We can't help it.

Thank you, guys. Thank you.

How do you want to leave them? Fuck y'all.

No, I'm just kidding.

Thank y'all so much.

We love our listeners and we

love when they engage with us.

And we loved having you on.

Jess, congrats on your first podcast cast. You nailed.

Thanks.

Yeah, no, you did great.

And we could have talked to you all day, but

I know, yeah, it always goes by so quick.

But thanks so much for being a guest.

Thank you to all of our listeners.

We really appreciate it.

And like Brina said, give us some

reviews, feedback, comments, anything you guys want

us to talk about, we're here. Love it.

Love being inspired. Thanks, all. See you next Tuesday.

Thanks, y'all. Thank you. Bye.